Partners Preparing for birth
Hey there, partner in crime! So, your loved one is about to embark on this wild journey called birth, huh? While all the focus is often on the birthing person (and rightfully so), you, my friend, have an incredibly important role to play. Whether you’re a husband, partner, family member, or best friend, being the support system during this experience can be life-changing—for you and them.
The good news? You don’t need a medical degree to be the best birth partner ever. All it takes is a little preparation, empathy, and the willingness to be there for your person in every way possible. By the end of this post, you’ll have some practical tips, exercises you can practice at home, and a clear understanding of how to shift your mindset to prepare for the big day.
Now get your head in the game - the one on your neck, and let’s get into how you can step up and make this birth a moment you and your loved one will look back on with pride.
Be Present and Empathetic (AKA The Mindset Shift)
First things first: this journey isn’t just about physical preparation, but mental and emotional readiness, too. One of the most crucial things you can do as a partner is to be present—and no, I don’t just mean being in the room during labor.
We’re talking about being emotionally available, empathetic, and understanding throughout the entire pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period. It’s a mindset shift that goes beyond just “helping out.” It’s about realizing you’re a team, and your role is to be there emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Remember this
Your partner may be feeling a million different emotions during this time—nervous, excited, scared, or even all of the above. A simple but powerful way to support them is by actively listening. Ask how they’re feeling, without interrupting or trying to “solve” the problem. Sometimes, they just need someone to vent to without any judgment. And remember: empathy over fixes!
Try This at Home:
Have a “birth chat” night where you sit down together and talk about any anxieties, hopes, or questions you both have about the birth experience. Practice just listening—no phones, no distractions, just you and them.
BE INTENTIONAL! Both of you put your phones away - and go into the mindset of having to ask 3 questions that you can both answer.
Questions you can ask:
What is something that I can take care of for you - personally - that will relief some stress before birth?
I know that hormones can impact you, without you even realizing it, if you’re having a rough day/time and you realize that you need extra love maybe we should create a safe word?
Where do would you like me to be when baby comes?
Educate Yourself on the Birth Process (AKA You’ve Got Homework!)
Okay, so maybe this isn't your typical "binge-watch Netflix" kind of homework, but trust me—it’s worth it! The more you know about what happens during labor and delivery, the better prepared you’ll be to support your partner when the time comes.
Start by learning about the different stages of labor, potential interventions, and comfort techniques that can make a big difference. This will not only give you a sense of control but also empower you to advocate for your partner’s needs.
What you might experience
Imagine you’re in the delivery room, and your partner is having strong contractions. One technique you could try is counter-pressure: standing behind them and pressing your hands against their lower back during contractions can relieve some of the discomfort. Having these tools in your back pocket will make you have a touchdown during labor.
Now Practice This
Grab a birthing ball (or even just a chair) and practice different labor positions together. Get used to applying counter-pressure or doing hip squeezes, so you’re ready when the big day arrives. You’ll both feel more confident knowing that you’ve practiced these moves ahead of time! Trust me! Plus that one on one time you’ll spend together will help ya’ll bond and have good memories to think back to at this time.
Evidence-Based Fact:
Studies show that partners who are educated and actively involved in the birth process can positively impact the experience, helping reduce the need for medical interventions like epidurals or C-sections Source. In other words - partners you are the real MVP!
Practice Self-Care So You Can Be Your Best Self (Yes, You Too!)
This one might sound a little selfish, but it’s actually really important: you’ve got to take care of yourself, too. When the big day comes, you’ll be better able to support your partner if you’re well-rested, calm, and hydrated. Labor can be long, exhausting, and emotionally intense for both of you.
Get ahead of the game
Make sure you’re packing your own “go-bag” for the hospital or birth center. Include snacks, water, and even a change of clothes. You don’t want to be running on fumes halfway through labor because you forgot to take care of yourself.
Heres a quick list:
ID Cards,
Phone Chargers
2 Pairs of Shirts, 1 Sweat pants
Hoodie (it get’s cold in the hospitals if that’s where you’re birthing!)
Slides
Toothbrush/Toothpaste, Deodorant.
Mints / Snack Bars / Chips /Crackers- Low odor having snacks.
And please let me the one to tell you, here, if we’re being honest. DON’T expect her to pack the bag for you - take that emotional labor off her plate and pack it yourself big fella! And while you’re at it consider packing the babies bag too. Imagine the points you’ll get for that one!
Here’s a game plan:
Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation. This will help you stay calm and focused when things get intense. You could even make it a routine—spend a few minutes each night before bed practicing deep breaths together. It doesn’t always have to be serious - make it a game. This will help her with her nerves and anxiety she may have from time to time. Even when you’re not around using these breathing techniques can be beneficial for you as well so don’t count yourself out of learning a new skill because you think it’s only useful for your partner!
Support During the Postpartum Period (AKA It’s Not Over After Birth!)
Here’s a fact that might surprise you: the postpartum period is just as important as the birth itself. And no, we’re not just talking about the first few days. It can take months (or even years) for the birthing person’s body and mind to fully recover from pregnancy and childbirth. During this time, your role as a supportive partner is crucial.
Where the real challenge begins
Once the baby is home, your partner may need extra help adjusting to their new routine. Simple things like cooking a meal, helping with diaper changes, or taking the baby for a walk so they can nap will go a long way.
Also, remember that postpartum emotions are real, and postpartum depression is a serious issue that affects many new parents. Keeping an open line of communication and offering empathy is key.
I want you to try this
Set up a "postpartum plan" together before the baby arrives. Talk about how you can split responsibilities and be prepared for those sleepless nights. Also, plan for self-care for both of you—it’s a team effort! Just be mindful that a “splitting” responsibilities does not always look equal especially during these first few years following birth. Yes I said years! Mom will take on most of the load healing and bonding with baby first few months. This may look like alot of resting needed for her, while it may look like your time taking care of the household has increased. This is normal and to be expected! Hence why we have postpartum doulas - to really help offset some of the work load for both of you and give that added support.
Evidence-Based Fact:
The postpartum recovery period can take 6 months to a year (and sometimes longer) for many physical changes to return to pre-pregnancy status Source. During this time, having an understanding and supportive partner can make all the difference in mental health and physical recovery. Remember even if on the outside your partner looks completely normal and capable, there where alot of changes that occurred for nearly 10 months to bring your baby home! It’s going to take time and some of these changes are life long and natural! Be gentle with eachother.
Be Flexible and Ready for Anything (Because, Birth)
Birth is unpredictable, plain and simple. No matter how much you prepare, things may not go exactly as planned. The key here is flexibility—being ready to roll with whatever comes your way. Whether the labor takes longer than expected, there’s a change in the birth plan, or your partner just needs more of your emotional support, staying calm and open to change is the best thing you can do.
Practical Example:
Maybe your partner planned for a natural birth, but halfway through, they decide they want an epidural. Your role isn’t to question their choice but to support it. The birth experience should be about their comfort and needs, and your job is to back them up 100%, no matter what curveballs come your way. You can reassure them that their decision is okay and shift your perspective on how to navigate that decision with the best possible outcomes.
Practice with your partner
Go over different scenarios together. What will you do if labor takes longer than expected? How will you both handle changes to the birth plan? Preparing for the unexpected will help you feel more confident when the time comes. Think about your work or theirs how will you manage communication in case of an emergency. Do you have friends who could step in quickly if you have pets or other children who may need to be taken care of immediately within the first 3 days during and following birth?
You as a partner are you aware and prepared to see what you may see. Also remember that your support is important too, speak with your doula about when something may become to challenging for you. As often times partners can have a hard time seeing their love one in pain or challenging situations.
Let me give it to you straight - no chaser
Being a supportive partner during birth is about more than just showing up—it’s about being there mentally, emotionally, and physically, both during labor and long after the baby arrives. It will not always be the easiest thing - and truth be told this is just as much as a learning journey for you as it can be for her. As a mother of 3 - I can personally tell you it doesn’t get easier lol you challenges just change. However, the best way to navigate through this journey is to be mindful, be intentionally considerate of your partner. If you can both tap into this - lifelong. I promise it will go a long way. Also listen! Men are excellent at trying to solve problems but alot of the times, you may go based of what you think the solution is versus what your partner is communicating that she needs and wants.
At the end of the day, you got this! We’re all here because of this birthing process.
And guess what? I can help! If you’re in the Jacksonville, Florida area (or nearby), I offer personalized guidance for both birthing people and their partners to help you feel confident and prepared. With the realness to be fair!
If you’re interested in learning more about me and working with me just reach out!
